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welcome to the world

This is just a random blog of things that I find interesting, as well as a few creative endeavors here and there.

My AO3

A Series of Unfortunate Events. Ace Attorney. Code Geass. Disney. Durarara!!. Final Fantasy. Good Omens. Gundam Wing. Harry Potter. His Dark Materials. Homestuck. House of Leaves. Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. Kingdom Hearts. Loveless. Neon Genesis Evangelion. No.6. Percy Jackson. Sailor Moon. The Wizard of Oz. Yugioh!.

If my heart was a house you'd be home♥
1 day ago with 32 notes
#gokudera
#khr
#reborn!
#discussion
#analysis

KHR 30 Days Character Meme - Day 1

makeste:

So I’m just about wrapping up the most chaotic fucking week ever, and during said week, there were several points where I just said to myself, “Self, if you ever make it through this stupid week, you need to set aside some time to sit back and do something that makes you happy.”

“That’s all well and good, but what does make me happy?” I replied (to myself). Then I actually thought about it for two seconds and was all like, “OH YEAH, RAMBLING ABOUT KHR CHARACTERS.”

So yeah, that’s the story of how I am finally going to try out this meme and spend the next month TALKING ABOUT GOKUDERA, oh my gosh I am so excited.

Day 1 - Introduce the character.

image

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I love KHR essays, especially when they are about Gokudera.

1 week ago with 12 notes
#gokudera
#tsuna
#khr
#reborn!
#5927
#2759
#discussion
#analysis

The G Archery episode is one of the best ever.

Well, pretty much all the episodes where Gokudera’s devotion to Tsuna is highlighted are in my favorite episodes, but this one is honestly great. Gokudera plans to do something dangerous, and Tsuna FORBIDS him from doing it. Then Gokudera DEFIES the order, and his explanation of why he wants to do this - and what kind of right hand he wants to be - is so touching. It echoes the Storm Ring battle in that Gokudera doesn’t want to be reckless with himself, because he realizes that’s not what Tsuna wants. They both want to be able to survive and laugh together afterwards, and it’s not just walking away this time.

I still maintain that if not for needing to be bailed out for a Varia entrance directly afterwards, Gokudera would have won that battle against Zakuro. I know Gokudera gets a lot of grief for his win/loss record, but in every battle of his, we learn something new about how he has grown, and how his relationship with Tsuna has grown, and the strength that comes from his dedication. This is one of the reasons I love this show.

1 week ago with 94 notes
#lgbt
#discussion
#analysis
hearts & lungs: oh and all this bullshit about “reducing a character to his...

azalealilleburne:

lalondes:

oh and all this bullshit about “reducing a character to his sexuality”

like, you can say that marius and cosette’s relationship is an extremely important part of the narrative, and that their love for one another drives a great deal of the plot action and motivates them

i mean, sure, marius and…

It blows my mind that people can accept the references to Enjolras’ sexuality and then say it’s not important. Like, I know we all like to make fun of Hugo for going on (and on, and on) about the sewers or Waterloo or whathaveyou, but he didn’t put those things in the brick by accident. They’re important to fully understanding the characters and their struggles.

Likewise, Hugo wasn’t temporarily possessed by the Ghost of Ficwriters Past when he dumped all those very homoerotic references on Enjolras. And then he called the death scene “Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk” instead of “Hot Revolutionary and Ugly Skeptic Who Are Totally Just Friends (Even Though They Have Never Had a Friendly Interaction) Get Executed In A Totally Platonic Way, Details at Eleven.” But I’m sure it’s irrelevant. I’m sure his fingers slipped on the metaphorical keyboard. 

It is *so* telling that it’s “reducing a character to his sexuality” only when that sexuality is “not straight.” Heterosexuality is the “default”, so heterosexual people can have other things going on. But if you’re gay, that’s it, that’s all you’re allowed, that’s the sum total of your personality. And I’ve come to admire Hugo so much because he saw through that BS. 

(As an aside: I actually hate the idea that it’s “reducing” to talk about a character’s sexuality at all. It ties in with our cultural hangups about sexual purity, but when conflated with homophobia it’s explosively awful. I’ve seen tons of so-called slash shippers who insist that they don’t see their OTP as having a sexual relationship, that they have a “higher love”. The first bit is fine and dandy if you’re writing asexual characters (or non-ace people who aren’t into each other physically) but this “higher love” thing? No. Sexuality is not bad. It’s nice. And when you talk exclusively about m/m (or f/f) ships as having this supposedly more special, sexless love, you’re basically doing the same thing as some contemporary homophobic religious leaders: “sure, you can be born gay, but God has called you to be celibate”. You can be gay, but don’t you dare enjoy the intimacy that the rest of us take for granted in a relationship. Because that’s gross, duh.)

2 weeks ago with 183 notes
#dirk strider
#homestuck
#discussion
#analysis

englishjakes:

dirk’s representation as a queer character is actually so beautiful

like to be honest he is probably the most masculine out of all the kids and he isnt some kind of trope of either a flamboyant gay guy or some bear like he’s just dirk he’s not a stereotype he’s dirk

yet his sexuality does matter it keeps him constrained it makes him insecure and we see the same shit happening to him that queer folks are expected to just excuse

as much as i love roxy in her early development it was like “haha dirk i know you are gay but _____” and it obviously made dirk so uncomfortable to the point where he didn’t even want to talk about his sexuality and that’s why i don’t get it

if you respect dirk strider as a character how can you not see that he just wants to be validated as gay without being pressured into things and that being pestered and prodded and mocked about it has made him internalize it to the point where he is reluctant to open up to his closest friends about it

how can you just completely erase how being queer has shaped dirk strider and his relationships and his attitude

ugh

3 weeks ago with 103 notes
#kigdom hearts
#riku
#discussion
#analysis

cygnahime:

nil-nova:

I’ve never really done any sort of “personal” posts before, so, forgive me for the absolute rambling that is sure to follow. Just a fair warning though, these are personal posts about how I interpret the series as a queer person. I do not mean to suggest any universality through them, nor am I implying any sort of 1:1 translations of KH elements to real world queerness. This is just how I see the series and how it has helped shaped me and my understanding of who I am. So… don’t take it too seriously, I guess.

The only reason I ever got a PS2 was because of Kingdom Hearts. I had seen a preview for the soon to be released game in a video game magazine (remember those?) and knew I needed it in my life. So, after a lot of persuading, and paying for a third of it, I was able to convince my parents to buy the family one. There was still a few months before Kingdom Hearts actually came out, but I knew it was going to be worth it. There were a lot of things to like about Kingdom Hearts. The Disney, the mysticism, intrigue, “never knowing who you’ll run into next”. But, as great as Kingdom Hearts seemed it would be based on those things, they weren’t really what kept me invested for eleven years. I never really expected to be drawn to a character like I was to Riku. I couldn’t even express it quite into words what it was about him that kept me invested, kept me affected. But when the Door to Darkness closed on him at the end of the game it felt like I was the one locked away. And I think that was it. I wasn’t attracted to Riku, like some might be. I wasn’t drawn to him because of his looks. I was drawn to him because I recognized him as myself.

I didn’t realize this then of course; I was only eleven at the time, after all. But I suppose I knew it on some level. Of course now, eleven years later, I can understand it a bit more clearly. I still have, due to the nature of this being something I felt subconsciously for so long, some trouble with expressing it in actual words, instead of just pure feeling. So, bare with me as I struggle through this.

When I look at Riku in the first Kingdom Hearts game, I see a boy who is struggling with a lot of things at once, pulling him in different directions. One of these things is his role as the protector and his obsession with freedom, but I think another element at play is also his burgeoning feelings for his best friend, and how that parallels with his shame over the growing darkness in his heart.

When the first Kingdom Hearts game opens there is an obvious tension within the trio that, essentially, everyone is aware of aside from Sora. Riku is obviously aware of the feelings Sora has for Kairi and Kairi is aware of something being off with Riku. Sora, of course, is oblivious to the plights of both friends, shrugging their comments off in both cases. With Riku, it seems that he didn’t start to become aware of his feelings for Sora until recently, and, knowing of Sora’s crush on Kairi, teases him in many ways, perhaps in a misguided attempt to see how serious Sora is about her. He starts by showing off in front of Sora, thanking Kairi for coming to the islands as he never would have thought about leaving if it weren’t for her (something we know to be a lie). When he gives Sora the paopu fruit (inadvertently “sharing” one with him in the process) he is deliberately vague, as if to test the waters. “You wanted one, didn’t you?” “I know you want to try it.” He’s prodding the tension and issue between them, trying to get a sense of just how serious Sora is about Kairi, without letting on too much that he cares about the answer. When he doesn’t get what he’s looking for, he takes a more direct approach. “The winner gets to share the paopu with Kairi”. Making it the “prize” of the race lets Riku determine just how invested Sora is. After seeing how he reacts and how that translates into Sora’s performance in the race, he has his answer. When Sora tries to approach him about it after, Riku is quick to brush it off as a joke and doesn’t attempt to prod further. He has his answer now.

When Kairi and Sora speak together at the end of the day, it is clear that Kairi has noticed something different about Riku. While Sora may be clueless to Riku’s feelings towards him, Kairi seems to have picked up on it on some level. She tells him that Riku has changed and expresses doubts in their trio. She suggest to Sora that they just take the raft and go, just the two of them. In this instance it is clear how alike Kairi and Riku are, as they are both testing the waters of their relationship with Sora, trying to find out how he feels, and then writing it off as just a joke. “Kidding,” she says with a laugh after seeing Sora’s reaction. Sora suggests that Kairi is the one that’s changed, not Riku. “Maybe,” she says. Maybe Riku hasn’t changed and Kairi is the one who has, as her own feelings for Sora have surfaced. As she looks to the sunset, she knows that the only way for things to stay the same, for them to remain a trio, is if Sora doesn’t change. Everything would be fine, once they set sail.

Of course, they never do.

Desperate, Riku opens the door to the world’s heart, so they can move to the outside world. When Sora finds him, Riku professes that he isn’t afraid of the darkness any more, isn’t afraid of the feelings inside of him. When Sora asks where Kairi is, Riku is quick to dismiss her, brushing the question off, saying she was coming with them. And then he holds his hand out for Sora and Sora alone. The darkness of Riku’s heart, brought on by his feelings for Sora and his desire to protect him, ensnares Riku, winding up his body like a vined cage, threatening to overtake him. Sora struggles to reach Riku through the darkness, but is never able to meet him, to take his hand, and with a flash of light, Riku is gone, and only the Keyblade remains.

After that point, Riku is able to make the Soul Eater materialize — a sword that takes its form from the darkness in his heart. In many ways, one can see Riku’s struggle with the darkness as a struggle to accept himself as who he is. The shame he has for his feelings for Sora creates darkness in his heart, and, in many ways, he believes it is the darkness. Throughout his journey in the first Kingdom Hearts game, he begins to conflate his darkness with his repressed sexuality, and falls further and further into that darkness as he fails to reconcile the difference between them. It’s fitting then, that he refers to the sword that takes its form from his darkness as the Soul Eater, as that’s how it feels to Riku. It feels that his darkness is eating him up, that these feelings + the shame attached to them are consuming him.

When he finally finds Sora again after being separated, he is faced with uncomfortable perceptions. On some level Riku believed to have confessed something to Sora that night when he held his hand out for him, and their first reaction since feels in many ways cold and distant. While he can tell that Sora is still amicable to him, he is also aware that things have changed. While Riku had sacrificed the Islands so that he could get the strength he needed to protect Sora, Sora no longer needed protecting. While he had sacrificed the Islands so that they could explore the World together, Sora had replaced him with new companions. That scene with Riku watching Sora with Donald and Goofy hits hard, and should resonate with a lot of people. For many queer youth, that scene is a reality. That, once they express who they are, in any way, it can lead to them being abandoned and replaced. And that’s how Riku sees it. He had opened himself up to Sora, had held his hand out for him (a visual representation of hearts trying to reach out to each other), and after all that, here Sora was, with new friends, not even worried about him anymore.

And so he falls back into the pattern of shame. He falls back deeper into the darkness, thinking that’s the only place where he belongs now. Away from his friends and away from the warmth of the light. He turns back into the embrace of darkness and the cold negativity that sustains it. Hurt and desperate to reclaim Sora’s attention, he turns his focus onto rescuing Kairi.

In many ways, Riku returns to his behaviour in the opening of the game, testing Sora’s resolve and his feelings for Kairi. Angry at being forgotten and replaced, Riku uses Kairi to guilt Sora for forgetting about him. When captured on Hook’s Ship, Sora asks where Donald and Goofy are and Riku bitterly asks if they are so important to Sora, more important than old friends. He is, of course, talking primarily about himself, but he uses Kairi as a proxy for his feelings, letting Sora know that while he was busy replacing them, Riku was doing what Sora never could. He wants to see Sora hurt. He wants him to feel like Riku has felt this entire time. He wants him to be ashamed, to feel guilty, and regretful. Riku is so unbelievably lost and desperate and hurt that he is using someone he cares a lot about as a pawn to sort out his feelings. The more he falls into the shame and fear of darkness, the more he loses sense of who he really is — the more he becomes a monster, that only resembles who he once was. This is shown abruptly clear in the scene after Riku escapes from Hook’s ship with Kairi. On the Clocktower he holds his hand out against the only light in the night sky, the moon, and closes his fist, snuffing it out. He can tell that the darkness is snuffing his own light out, too. It throws his heart into torment, but he doesn’t know what to do any more but keep falling further in. He looks back at Kairi, knowing that she deserves better than this, but not knowing how to escape from the prison he’s trapped in. Any chance of returning to light has been snuffed out.

It’s fitting then that when Riku uses the darkness of his heart to create an enemy for Sora, it takes on Sora’s image. Because, for Riku, that is what he fears most — Sora, and his feelings for him. He wasn’t considering what would actually make Sora fearful, instead, his darkness once again reflects back his own heart. Riku is ashamed and terrified of what Sora means to him, and he tries to use it as a weapon only to fail. He’s in too deep, having believed to have lost everything that was once important to him. And the shame continues to eat away at his heart.

After succumbing to the darkness in his heart, losing the Keyblade once and for all, Riku lets Xehanort’s Heartless into his heart. Soon after, Xehanort kicks Riku’s heart out of his body and sends it into the Realm of Darkness. While there, the darkness eats away at Riku’s heart, threatening to consume him entirely, but Riku resists. He needs to see his friends again before he disappears, even after everything that happened. That’s when he hears Mickey’s voice, telling him not to give up, and that he had been trying to talk to him this whole time, but the darkness kept him at bay. Mickey affirms to Riku that he still matters, and that he is still needed in this World, that he can’t disappear. Riku asks him if his friends are safe and Mickey tells him to look into his own heart for the answer — that how we perceive our friends is dependent on our hearts, and that we can feel them through it. Riku closes his eyes and he feels Sora running towards him, not away. After all this time, the shame and guilt Riku had felt had clouded his heart, keeping him from seeing the truth. Sora was always running towards him, not away from him. Even after everything, his friends were still with him. “Thank you,” he tells Mickey, and then steps forward.

While Riku had begun to walk forward on the path to acceptance, he still wasn’t there. His heart may have overcome the darkness for now, finally seeing the truth, but he knew that there was still darkness in his own heart. There were still things he couldn’t accept. But he kept moving, and eventually, met with Mickey when the Door to Darkness appeared. He finally saw Sora again, and tried to help him close the door. Accepting his fate, he resigned to keep himself in the dark, to repress what he now knew about himself, in order to try and keep Sora safe. As the door shut on Riku (and his feelings) he told Sora to take care of Kairi, accepting that he would never be the most important person to Sora.

But there was still hope. Hope that one day, Riku would find a door to the light. A door to acceptance.

When he awoke in Castle Oblivion, he was one step closer to reaching that goal. The shame of the darkness was still too real, and as he climbed the floors in the castle, he was confronted with his past, his mistakes, and his feelings. Mickey tried to help him along the way, but could only do so much for him. In the end, Riku would have to help himself. After the ordeals of the castle, Riku met with Naminé and finally reunited with Sora. She gave him an option, lose his memories of the darkness — trapping Xehanort away with them — or face him. Riku considered. If he gave up the darkness completely, he would sleep as peacefully as Sora, things could go back to how they were. And yet, he refused. He knew he needed to protect Sora as he slept, but he also knew deep down, that he didn’t want to forget the darkness. Naminé was happy with his answer. She didn’t know that he would pick it, but she had hoped, because she knew that deep down, Riku was the only person who could defeat the darkness inside him. Riku thanked her, and then went about battling Xehanort.

To Riku, Xehanort was a physical manifestation of the shame he felt for his feelings, for the darkness inside him. When he looked at Xehanort, he saw all of the things he regretted, the mistakes he made and the people that he hurt, including himself. Battling Xehanort was a literal form of battling his inner demons, of trying to make peace with who he was. He put up a galliant effort, but the shame and guilt that Xehanort represented was still stronger than Riku could handle, and he was plunged into the darkness. Mickey came to Riku’s rescue, pulling him out of the darkness and back into the light. While he knew that Riku wanted to face his demons alone, Mickey makes a point that no one can do it absolutely alone. That everyone needs support and bonds with people in order to overcome their personal hardships, and that he was willing to be there for Riku along the way to the light.

While Riku had overcome a lot, had gradually began to accept himself more and more, shame still lingered. Xehanort was still in his heart, and no matter what, he knew he couldn’t go back home — couldn’t see Sora and Kairi again — until the darkness was gone for good. Mickey is quick to correct him though — Riku’s darkness belongs to him, just as much as his light. While Riku may feel shame for having darkness, for having these feelings, he needed to realize that they weren’t the same. Mickey, too, used to think that darkness was nothing but bad, but spending time with Riku made him change his mind. He could see that, with Riku, light and darkness, back to back, mingled in a way that no one had ever seen before. It’s a conversation that is very reminiscent of homophobic people reassessing their beliefs on homosexuality once they come to know and care for someone who’s gay, and that’s no mistake. Mickey is getting at something that even Riku is still having a hard time accepting, even though he knows it deep down. His sexuality is part of what makes him him, and it can’t (nor should it) be eradicated. Riku knew this too, deep down, when he refused Naminé’s option of removing the darkness from his heart. Riku doesn’t want to forget the darkness — his sexuality — he wants to be rid of the shame and repression attached to it. Up until now, Riku believed they were one and the same thing, but slowly he is starting to realize that they’re not. The problem isn’t that Riku likes boys — that he has darkness in his heart — the problem is the shame he feels because of it.

It is by no means a perfect analogy or metaphor, but the connection is there and its one that I see in myself and in other queer people like me. Those who wish to be straight aren’t wishing it because they want to be attracted to the opposite sex. They wish it because they want to escape the oppression and shame society inflicts on them for not being straight. The problem isn’t them, it’s how other people treat them and make them feel. And Riku’s path to recognizing this, just like with actual queer youth, is a long and complex process. So, even though he hears truth in Mickey’s words, that the darkness isn’t something to fear or eradicate, but to accept as a part of him, he still denies it on some level.

But it’s alright. Because now he knows he doesn’t have to walk that path alone, that he has friends that will walk the road beside him if he’ll let them. Friends who will support him no matter what, as he strives to reach acceptance of who he is and what that means. It’s a message of incredible hope, that, one day, Riku will reach the light at the end of the road, the warmth of acceptance.

After all, he walks the road to dawn.

Apologies to my dash for the long reblog, but this is a Very Good Post.

Wow, this encapsulates a lot of my Feelings about KH and darkness - and, actually, explains why my feelings are so strong in a way I hadn’t fully articulated - because it’s not just the darkness-as-“bad”-character-traits thing, but the…darkness as something inside you that’s weird and confusing and different, something that people say is Wrong and you shouldn’t feel, should bury. Something that, once you admit to it, makes people see you as a different person, that causes you to fear that your friends would hate you if they knew.

And Riku’s story, in particular, has been so incredibly satisfying because he finds his answer, and the answer isn’t to repress the darkness/queerness and thus achieve acceptability, but to recognize and claim it as part of himself.

It’s a little too early for me to articulate how I feel about this completely, but let me just say that I agree that the message of looking at yourself, being honest and accepting of yourself instead of denying or pushing your feelings away, is a very good one.

3 weeks ago with 5 notes
#kisswitch
#fem!riku
#kingdom hearts
#commentary
#writing
#analysis
#discussion

Fem!Riku commentary for Sam

Sorry this took so long! This is an excerpt from the Traverse Town chapter.

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1 month ago with 3,247 notes
#Mako was always my favorite
#for there reasons exactly
#sailor moon
#kino makoto
#discussion
#analysis

cygnahime:

simplysailormoon:

thighhighs:

The strength of characterization in Sailor Moon is, in my opinion, what has made it such an enduring series. When we were children, we chose our favorite and used her to represent who we were and who we hoped to be. And there was such a diversity of choice—they’re tomboys, wannabe idols, obsessed with video games, brilliant students, lazy students, quiet, exuberant and everything in between. Today, when I reflect upon the cast, they feel like sisters—to each other, and to me. So I’m sitting here, beginning a series where I intend to focus on each senshi individually, facing the question of who to begin with. And suddenly, it’s obvious: Makoto.

Makoto is a wonderful symbol of what makes the characters of Sailor Moon so lasting—she fits no formula, she bucks gender conventions—but I don’t want to reduce her to that. In and of herself, Makoto is such a unique, emotionally resonant character. She’s a bundle of contrasts, but she never feels contrived, like her traits were carefully curated by a writer seeking to create a Quirky Girl Character. She’s organic—like a real person with a real, varied personality. She’s the bruiser of the team, with her penchant for hoisting enemies over her head only to slam them to the concrete. Her character design, with its long skirt and curly hair, hearkens back to the sukeban, or “delinquent” girl—and indeed, she is rumored to have been kicked out of her last few schools for fighting. Makoto is tall and tough and will finish a fight with her fists if she has to.

But Makoto is also a person who wears tiny pink rose stud earrings and has a story in the manga devoted to how she can’t stop buying cute shit for her apartment. Makoto is a person who swoons over romance novels and dreams of baking her husband meatloaf and wants to open a flower shop someday. She prepares lavish feasts for her friends and insists, blushingly, that it was nothing. She seeks to live a life as soft, romantic, and sweetly-scented as possible. And she’s never judged for it. She is never mocked as a shallow, frivolous airhead consumed by, as the scolder might sniff, the sort of superficial nonsense girls like. Nor are her more classically masculine traits denigrated as improper or embarrassing. She is, like her sisters-in-arms, a person in all the untidy, beautiful complexity that implies.

Moreover, Makoto is allowed to be weak. She is allowed to be an ass-kicking, flower-arranging, tea-sipping soldier of love and justice who maybe doesn’t feel so good about herself all the time. She occasionally regards her more boyish traits with embarrassment and panics at the sound of airplanes, scarred, as she is, from being orphaned by a plane crash. She doesn’t always look in the mirror and see someone who emerged triumphant from tremendous sorrow, someone who is only made more wonderful by her unconventionality. And that’s okay. The story honors her insecurities without validating them. No one has to swoop in and save her, nor are her moments of self-doubt used to diminish her. Her lapses in confidence, in fact, strengthen her—she roars out of them ready to fight anew, flushed with the knowledge that she is, as Mixx translated it back in the early 2000s, “butt-kicking Jupiter.”

Makoto is brawny. Makoto is delicate. Makoto is, at times, unsure of herself. And while, in the hands of a lesser author, she might have been a cringe-worthy joke of a character—OH MY GOD SHE’S SUPER TOUGH BUT SHE LIKES CUPCAKES WOW HOW WACKY!!!—in Sailor Moon, she is simply herself. And that’s beautiful.

(Part one in a series on the senshi.) 

As I grew up I thought Makoto was the person I was to be, I loved the “hard” and “soft” mixture, that you can be BOTH things. You can be rough and tough and take no shit, but you can also love to squeal over girly things. I also felt like she didn’t “need” a guy to feel tough or to be her strength, she was strong with out one, she just wanted a guy is all.

Makoto was definitely one of my favorites, and the best thing about her whole arc is that she doesn’t have to choose, to be EITHER a girl who likes cooking and flowers OR a girl who likes throwing people around. The people who tell her she does have to pick one aren’t her friends.

1 month ago with 20 notes
#kingdom hearts
#meta
#discussion
#analysis
#terra
#ventus
#aqua
#ven

cygnahime:

Wow I’m really sad about rubbish teen family again

especially their argument in Radiant Garden, which on first viewing I found really hard to parse — why is everyone talking around their concerns? Why are they all mad suddenly? Why are they not communicating?

But on reviewing and in retrospect, it gets a lot more comprehensible to me - not just “because if everyone in this game shared information and got a better image of what was going on, they might have headed off the entire series plot, whoops” - but also as character interactions and development. Because the thing is, all three of them are both failing and talking and failing at listening, but they’re doing it in different ways.

[Cut because I talk forever always.]

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2 months ago with 67 notes
#reblog for future reference
#reblog for future reading reference
#homestuck
#analysis
#discussion
#dirk strider
Master of Mythologue: What Timaeus testified.

lildurandal:

Timaeus is a dialogue written by Plato. It describes the creation of the universe, and Dirk apparently has strong feelings about it. The introduction to this translation also kicks off with the promising phrase “Of all the writings of Plato the Timaeus is the most obscure and repulsive to the…

2 months ago with 21,531 notes
#feminism
#analysis
#discussion
#sailor moon
#madoka magica

missturdle:

On the importance of Magical Girl Heroines & Weaponized Femininity: 

Let me start by saying that officially speaking, Sailor Moon is older than I am. I started watching while living in Singapore while I was four, so I definitely came in around the end of Sailor Moon R and watched Sailor Moon S despite the fact that it was played in Japanese with Chinese subtitles. When I moved back to the States, Sailor Moon started being released and aired in sub and dub form and being young and happy to actually hear a language I understood with a show I already liked, I watched the dubs. They’re not the shining star of any animated dub, but I went back several times as I got older, and rewatched the series, in dubs, in subs, all 200 episodes. I changed my self-identified scout, I understood what got cut out of the show, what was censored, I went back and relived my crush on Tuxedo Mask again…and again. In terms of “formative  media” Sailor Moon is probably near the top of the list. I still have the sticker book I had when I was 5/6 that has a page dedicated to these magical girls, and they’ve been with me a lot longer than almost anything else, including Harry Potter, Avatar: the Last Airbender, and most other narratives, superhero, fantasy, or otherwise. 

When I got the chance last year, I showed one of my girl cousins (who was twelve) the first episode of Sailor Moon. She came back to me about a week or so later and was maybe thirty episodes into the series, bursting with excitement over everything and every one. 

I stopped to think about how much that meant to me. Then I thought a little harder. One of my best friends gave me an opportunity to cosplay as Sailor Scouts, and I leapt at the chance. I accidentally stumbled across the newer series Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and marathoned all twelve episodes. Then I made my best friend watch it.

Why does Mahou Shoujo stick with us? The show I loved when I was six is something I love when I’m twenty, and something my cousin who is a tween also loves. For that matter, Puella Magi is, essentially, an update of the classic Magical Girl story, with some genre subversions thrown in. What makes magical girls so important?

It clicked, today, and I think I’m stating the obvious here, when I say I didn’t get a whole hell of a lot of Female Coming of Age narratives in school, in the media, or otherwise. The word bildungsroman is practically synonymous with “story about a young boy who grows up”. It’s not that I can’t relate to those narratives - I can - it’s just that they’re not about me

The Magical Girl genre is essentially a genre which explores the female Heroine’s arc, the female coming of age story, and the womanhood narrative with varying degrees of success or failure — but it gets explored. I’d be hard pressed to name a whole lot of series that allow women to play every single archetypal role in the heroic book the way say, Sailor Moon does. Because Usagi Tsukino is a regular girl who is sort of clumsy and a bit of a bad student, but kind and loving and sweet. She is the “regular young girl” who begins a journey into becoming a powerful woman. She might initially play at being the virginal Princess type, but let’s face it — her future child drops out of the sky, and there’s never any sort of real play at insinuating she’s a bad person because she grows up. Usagi is a Warrior, a Queen, a Mother, a Lover, a Friend, a Sister - the Heroine of the story. She saves her own boyfriend/consort’s ass regularly from the bad guys. Essentially, she’s the hero, and the story is about her. 

It’s more complex than that, of course. Her weapons are pink and shiny and come in the form of compacts and wands with heart and moon shapes. She wears a sailor fuku, she’s got long flowing hair, she’s feminine, beautiful, and when she doesn’t trip first, she’s going to kick your ass in the name of the moon (and love and justice). Being a girl is her weapon. Being feminine and a woman is her weapon. Some of the other Scouts have other presentations of themselves and their genders, but that’s just it - womanhood and girlhood, and gender, and sexuality, and so on — has a spectrum. It’s all there. 

Now look at Puella Magi. At only twelve episodes it packs a hard punch, and it’s so easy to claim that Kyubey represents the devil, with a contract waiting to be made to essentially use your soul to fight witches. This claim that the narrative is Faustian isn’t wholly wrong, but I’d argue it’s not all there is either. 

Kyubey isn’t the devil. Kyubey is the society we live in, which takes up and preys on young girls at vulnerable times in their lives, and asks them to be perfect. Society asks girls to fight against evil, the icky, awful, and impure, and it keeps asking until we say yes. Yes to being beautiful, and perfect, and good, and pure, and sweet, yes to being a nice young lady, yes to fighting everything that is bad and evil and dangerous - to fighting the things that threaten us and our friends. 

Except there’s a catch. We’re fighting ourselves. What they don’t tell you, society, or Kyubey in this metaphor, is that there is no way to prevent yourself from becoming what you started out fighting. You lose, in this scenario, every time. At some point, a young, “emotionally volatile” girl grows up and becomes a woman. One day, you hit puberty, or maybe you haven’t yet, and someone leers at you, or looks at you wrong, or calls after you and you are suddenly made aware of the fact that being a woman is dangerous. Growing up means something incredibly different for girls than it does boys. 

And this is something Kyubey himself says, and the implications of it are astounding. Girls become women. Magical girls become witches. There’s no stopping it, the process happens whether you want it to or not. You grow up, sure, but there’s a reason for it. Sayaka Miki fights relentlessly against the evils she sees in the world, but she becomes obsessed with her imperfections and failures, she berates herself for falling short of her own standards, and for standards thrust upon her, and she literally can not win. The standards are always changing, they can’t be met, they’re meant to keep you fighting, but only in a certain way, only the way society wants you to. Sayaka loses her cool, she overhears some men say awful, horribly misogynistic and sexist things about their ‘girlfriends’ on a train, and she loses it. Sayaka reacts to the endless stream of hatred and misogyny set up in a patriarchal society that has been asking her to fight against women who failed to met society’s expectations and while we don’t see the results of her losing her cool on the train directly, we can all imagine that she could have beaten these men up, or she could have killed them. In the end, the result doesn’t matter. The losing her temper does.

You become a witch or a bitch the day you fight back. And even if you don’t fight back, you’re going to become a witch or a bitch eventually. That’s the unfortunate truth of growing up female — sooner or later, society will betray you. And while you might not become Walpurgisnacht, it can be as simple as a hiss in your ear, or a seething message in your inbox. You’re an emotionally out of control girl, you’re evil, you’re bad, you’re a slut, a whore, or a bitch, or hysterical, or over reacting. You become a woman in a society that hates women. And if and when you react, you get tossed straight into the bin of evil terrible things. 

Puella Magi is a story about young teenager girls who, while exploring who they are as people, their sexualities, their lives, their desires, hopes, wants, wishes, and dreams — find out that society is going to see them as shitty monstrous plagues upon the world sooner or later. And you can try to stop it, or take it back, or hold out hope, or you can lose your unholy shit and hit back. You can say the idea of witches is complete and utter bullshit, and women and girls don’t deserve that fate. You can fight against it, you can be Madoka Kaname, or Usagi Tsukino and you can fight against people who prey on other girls and women for having anything special or bright about them and try to make it something terrible or wrong. 

Magical Girl stories are stories about growing up and becoming a woman, and protecting other women, saving other women, following desires and dreams and wishes and then kicking the bad guys in the face with your high heeled boots. The weapon is womanhood and girlhood and your sexuality because that’s the weapon society gave you and told you you were going to hurt yourself with it. Except the thing is, you don’t have to hurt yourself. You can protect yourself, and your friends, and your ideas, and feelings, and some days, yes, you fall down on your knees and sob messily because you can’t defeat every bad guy on your own, or ever, or alone - but goddamnit you have the ability to take power in your agency and who you are. Society doesn’t OFTEN tell girls that. We don’t often get the message that who we are is okay, acceptable, powerful, or amazing, much less that it’s also okay if we don’t succeed every single time. We know the fight is a part of our lives, but survival is the minimum. Getting stories about winning beyond that is amazing. 

This is why I cringe when people complain loudly that there aren’t “Magical Boy” series for them to watch. To start with, there are already several series that involve young boys transforming with magical powers and skirts/wands/sparkles/etc. There’s also an abundance of already available fantasy male heroes who start off on Hero’s journeys that describe the process of growing up and becoming a “man” in society. Magical Girls are a genre that rely on a female narrative, on becoming a woman, on relative experiences of love and sex and dreams and wishes that are influenced by the treatment of women in society. That doesn’t mean men can enjoy these stories, or relate to them, or that people who don’t fall in the binary gender spectrum can’t relate to them (on the contrary, there’s a lot of reliability in not “fitting” gender roles or expectations in the series I’ve just mentioned), it just means that this genre is built on something very specific to a narrative that is not male dominated, that isn’t a male narrative. There’s, uh, a reason why Mamoru Chiba is the major male love interest, and why PMMM features one male love interest who ends up with someone else. The ability to find WOC and QWOC in Magical girl series is also a big part of the genre, and pushes the majority of the focus on female pleasure rather than the dudes. Yes, the Male Gaze exists in much of the genre, but… Tuxedo Mask is also clearly a young girl’s dream man. So is Sailor Uranus. The crushes and loves are often more fluid than they would be elsewhere, and equally important, they’re not in the perspective of Prize/Not prize and give an active role to the women in the relationships.

Magical Girls are important to real girls because they tell us stories about ourselves and our powers, and we need them, because girls need to see themselves as heroes and saviors too.